Cat truth “showing its belly to you”
Experts say: An exposed belly is a sign of trust
The truth: An exposed belly is a trap. Your cat knows you can’t resist snuggling its furry belly, at which point it will attack you and feast on your flesh. Beware.
Cat truth “sitting in cat loaf” formation.
Experts say: your cat tucks its paws underneath it because it feels content and safe, plus it keeps body heat from escaping.
The truth: your cat is annoyed that you didn’t enroll it in baking classes and thinks the only way to get your attention is to pretend it’s an actual loaf of bread.
Cat truth “sitting on your computer” when you need to work:
Experts say: cats like warm places, and your laptop is warm.
The truth: your cat knows how many times a day you creepstalk your ex, and has decided it’s time for an intervention.
Cat truth “sleeping in boxes”.
Experts say: cats are drawn to the confined space of a box because it offers security.
The truth: Your cat is having a quarter-life crisis and thinks a trip to Mozambique would offer some worldly perspective. Tape up the box, slap on some postage, and mail your kitty to Africa.
Cat Truth: “sleeping in perfect circle”.
Experts say: sleeping in a circle conserves body heat.
The truth: time is cyclical, and nobody understands this better than cats. When your cat sleeps in a circle, it’s a sign that this world is ending and giving way to a greater, more terrifying universe.
Cat Truth: “Staring Off Into Space, Wide-Eyed
Experts say: cats have keen sense, and the smallest movement will catch their attention. They probably saw a bug or a speck of dust.
The truth: Evil, skinless demons have crossed into this realm, and only your cat can see them. Run.
Cat truth: The Hug n Bite.
Experts Say: Wrestling and biting is a normal part of play for cats.
The truth: With ts keen senses, your cat has noticed that the government-implanted tracker in your wrist is about to self-destruct and kill you. It must be removed immediately. Try to relax, your cat is attempting to save your life.
Cat vs salad tongs
Donuts? – I hate donuts
Fuck you – gluten allergy